Three Things to Remember When Publishing a Memoir

So, you've published a memoir. First off, congratulations! Many hats off to you! After that, I'd like to extend even more hats off to you! That is a huge accomplishment that many people say they are going to do, yet never actually get around to do doing! A huge reason for this (I'm assuming) is the countless hours that go into writing a book. Then (with your publisher's help) re-reading, revising, editing, re-editing, and then (wait for it)- marketing your book! The list goes on.

We also live in a busy culture, and most of us simply have busy lives! Kids, jobs, spouses, hobbies, and other obligations we signed up for one day, and then perhaps regretted the next. Because- if you're anything like me- you instinctively say YES to everything that comes your way (because you're a recovering people pleaser). One minute being a volunteer for a local community organization sounds great, the next minute, you would rather Netflix and snack. Let's assume though, that you made the time to write and finish a book. Let's assume that you actually marked your calendar, committed to writing and finished a manuscript. Let's than assume that your manuscript is a memoir! You published a memoir! That. is. amazing! Hopefully, I'm here to catch you at the finish line.

1. Practice Self-Care—You’ll Need It.

First, let me validate you by saying- "Sit down a minute and take a sip of water (or hot tea or kombucha or whatever other comfort drink or food of choice you may need to calm your nerves) because I'm sure that wasn't easy. While you're at it, feel free to take a nap, plan a vacation, eat some chocolate or phone a friend. Maybe schedule a therapy appointment too (no shame in my therapy game) because I'm sure you'll need it. I speak from personal experience in saying that bearing your entire life and soul for the world to read isn’t easy. Writing, publishing, and promoting a memoir means reliving some very difficult experiences that aren’t so easy to re-live. Memoirists expose a piece of our hearts and then sit back while the world reads and judges our stories. So, when preparing for this, make sure you are ready to care for yourself.

2. Remember Your Reason Why.

My memoir (for example), "Fleetwood Dreams' Climbing a Moutain after a Landslide" is a story about generational trauma, hardship, and losing both my mom and twin brother, then later my favorite Aunt. I know, why write about something so sad?!

Well, most people write a memoir because they have something important to say. They have a story they feel others will want to hear and connect to. Maybe they want to share their story, so others feel less alone. Maybe writing their story was cathartic for them. Maybe it was for entertainment purposes (Que Baby Reindeer), or maybe (like in my case) it was to give others a little bit of “hope” in a world that can quite honestly use a little more. Whatever your reason, remember your “why.”

Stick to this reason during interviews, Q&A’s, book signings, author events, etc. People might also want to share their experiences with you now (because you’ve made a connection— GO YOU!). People might want to give you a hug (because now they see you in a different light than before), and people will write many different reviews. It’s important to remember none of their opinions are a judgement of your worthiness as an author (let alone your worth as a person). Either way, it's okay and you're not alone in this venture. All of us "memoir writers" are sitting beside you drinking our comfort drinks, eating our comfort food (dark chocolate and sea salt for me), and holding our breath a little too. So-- remember your reason.

3. Vulnerability is Strength.

You just allowed yourself to be vulnerable. As Brené Brown says, “Vulnerability isn’t about winning or losing. It’s having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome.” It’s normal to feel panicky, uncertain, or scared. You just did something courageous. You just did something that most people won’t do. You let yourself be vulnerable. Remember this though through your moments of fear: “You jumped in the arena instead of watching from the stands”. Be proud of your accomplishment. You never know who you will be touched by your story.