Why not me?

Amy Leigh
Apr 24
3 min read

A question -I've been asking myself a lot lately...

I've been reading a new book of which I absolutely love, Start with Yourself by Emma Grede. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it- especially if you have big dreams or just need a little encouragement or motivation. And if you don't have time to sit down with a full book, her short videos are just as powerful! I promise!

I connect with her on a deep level. Our personalities are different-- I'm a bit softer spoken-- but I feel that same fire inside that she describes. She too- didn't have it easy. She grew up without her father, her mom worked multiple jobs, and she had to help raise her younger siblings.

While our stories aren't identical, I understand that kind of weight on a deep level.

I've had my own hardship- losing my mom young, losing my brother in a robbery while I was in college, helping to guide my younger brothers, growing up in a divorced family ....and more. It's not easy. Anyone who's faced adversity knows the feeling- it's like constantly swimming upstream and never knowing when you'll catch a break.

But I truly believe we ALWAYS have two choices:

Surrender and become a victim
Take your power back and change your narrative

I'm grateful I chose the second.

At the same time, I learned something early on: you can't effectively help others, if you don't help yourself first. And while it may seem selfish (or society may tell us it is), I continue to apply this theory today. We've all heard that analogy about putting your own oxygen mask on first. I've never loved this analogy (in fact, I think it's corny), but it is true!

For example, when my twin brother died (while I was in college), I wanted to move back home so badly to be there for my younger brothers. I wanted to guide them, support them, and be present. But I also knew that I needed to finish my degree. Not just for myself, but to create a better future and lead by example.

I drove home on the weekends whenever I could to help, but I didn't abandon my own path and dreams. Emma talks about this concept a lot in her book.

There were other sacrifices I had to make too. Paying for therapy when I could barely afford it. Interning at a TV station in the mornings for free, then working second and third shifts at a group home at night. It wasn’t easy - but it was an investment in my future, and I chose it.

And even now, as a mom, that same mindset applies.

If I want to grow as a writer, promote my book, and continue to work on my second one, I have to be VERY intentional about my time, as I have other jobs too! That means, early mornings, late nights and using the resources and small pockets of time that I do have.

Also- I work in fields where I put myself out there both physically (teaching yoga and Pilates) and mentally. For example, I just spoke this past weekend in front of a hundred plus people about my hardships and adversities (it's not easy). But I do it and I fill my own cup too.

I take a nap and rest when I'm exhausted. I go for a walk to clear my head when I need it. I take my dog to the dog park and day dream. I meet my best friend for dinner and a walk around Target (and tuck the mom guilt aside). I listen to my favorite murder podcast (YES, I’m that person), and I hide and eat my favorite sea-salted dark chocolates in the panty alone.

And I don’t drink alcohol- because I don’t have time, nor do I want to deal with a hangover. And I keep on filling my cup so I can show up for the people that I love the most.

It's not negotiable... it's necessary.

AND I continue to prioritize self-care, and work toward becoming the best version of myself to stay aligned about what I want. And when I get inside my head and start to become my own worst critic (yep, it happens to all of us!)…I rephrase that thought, remember how far I've come and ask myself: